Grace Under Pressure — Winning From Within
Dr. Ray Blanchard
Almost everyone has had a situation where they thought they were at the end of the rope or in the jaws of failure, and managed to pull out a victory. Some people only did it once or twice, and they might have chalked it up to luck. They felt relieved and swore to never get themselves in those situations again. They perceived it as a threat. Then there are other people who put themselves in high risk situations as a matter of habit, like an addiction. They live off the adrenalin rush that comes from living on the edge. They need the juice of doing the almost impossible to give life meaning. They live from challenge.
Still, there are people who have stared down adversity numerous times but do not see it as threat nor as a need for challenge. They live from vigor, knowing there may be obstacles when they go for their dreams. They see the opportunity in the situation. In the heat of the moment they go to their next level of genius and find solutions to life’s real problems.
Threat, Challenge, or Opportunity! We have come from all three positions at different times in life. But on which would you make your life stand? Which allows you to be most focused, most often, and is most sustainable?
To live from threat is to live from fear and intimidation. This will ruin your will and destroy your morale over time. It leads you to live life “playing not to lose”. Then you lose. To live from challenge as an ongoing practice is to develop a habit that could lead to emptiness. What happens when there is no challenge? You may be high when in challenge, but the problem with this is that all the other times may be lows. Swinging from highs to lows creates too many mood swings and moments of meaninglessness. Not such a good way to run your life, your company, or anything else.
The other possibility is to operate from “Opportunity”. That is to take every situation as it is, to be present-centered, and in the quick of the moment, to look for the opportunity it poses. This requires you to keep discipline of your mind and not letting yourself go to fear and intimidation and generate a vibration that will only bring forth a matching result. You would be focused in the present, and look for ways to turn any issue into creative new possibilities. If you make this a practice, it will become ingrained into your psyche and behaviors, and it will serve you well in the midst of pressure in all walks of life. This is what athletes and other accomplished superstars do on a more regular basis than the average person. They have done it over and over again, until it becomes their modus operandi, which we call mental strength and clear intention. It is the winner’s edge, and it comes from within. And with practice.
Operating from opportunity, having faith, and knowing that tomorrow is a new day is the kind of optimism that will always make a way. Here are a few thoughts and tips to live by:
1. Be health conscious and take action to make sure you have balanced energy. This gives you a stable foundation and helps you concentrate and focus in present time.
2. Keep your emotions in check and have the presence of mind to not go into negative reaction in the situation. By keeping a positive attitude you generate a powerful vibration that attracts positive energies towards you and allows you to be clear on what works.
3. Reframe a troublesome situation and see the glass as half full rather than half empty. This allows you to see possibilities instead of defeatisms, which give you personal power and energy. That is the cure to depression and it gives you light and lifts you up.
4. Practice gratitude. Live in love rather than fear. Look at each moment as a privilege and be thankful for being alive and in a position to have such opportunities to grow and bring out the best of what you have to offer. In this, you find your true self. Look for the good in people and the situation rather than the disappointments and regrets, which keeps you going forward rather than backwards.
5. Build a solid foundation for your life around a selfless purpose, or something that inspires you and elevates your passion. Always play a game larger than just for yourself, so you have a greater reason for performing at a higher level. It makes life more meaningful and crystallizes your dedication. Be a positive maniac on a mission. It makes you a forced in nature, and it is the “true joy of life”. It makes you do the extraordinary and the miraculous.
6. Always pay attention to the things you did well and celebrate your contributions. It is so easy for a few missteps to cast a shadow of criticism over your accomplishments. There will always be cynics to help you demean yourself if you let them. Don’t listen to the detractors. Surround yourself with people who will remind you of the beauty of your accomplishments and the difference you make. Then keep on doing what average people say can’t be done. Remember your gift, and know that when you use it, it grows. If you don’t use it, you lose it.













This post has 10 comments
August 5th, 2009
Ray,
This is an exquisite piece, made so from your own willingness to take life on with vigor. This is a piece that could only be born, or invented, from lived experience. Thank you for taking time to share your wisdom with me and others.
In my own life, when I operate from Opportunity, miracles happen and I have the experience that something far greater (perhaps the “selfless” you mention) is moving through me. In other words, it’s a spiritual experience for me, and I lose that aspect of me that thinks I am separate from others. When I operate from threat or challenge, I experience what you describe here, and, at the bottom of all of it, is a feeling and experience of being separate. …And yes, operating from Opportunity is indeed a practice.
Keep on writing, and I’ll keep on reading! Glad to see you doing these blogs!!!
In gratitude,
Dawnelle
August 6th, 2009
Hi Ray,
I just wanted you to know that I found your thoughts and tips to live by very profound.
Thank you.
August 9th, 2009
Ray,
What an exquisite piece! This is the kind of piece that can only be born of, or generated from, a deeply lived life–a life of vigor. Thank you for opening up the wisdom of your lived experience for me and other readers.
Recently, I looked up the word “grace.” (As part of a coaching course I participated in recently, I created a practice around “speaking with grace.”) The definition that resonated with me the most was: “the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them; a virtue or excellence of divine origin.” As I read your thoughts here, I am reminded that coming from within is, indeed, for me,tapping humbly into the spirit of God. Standing in that, I have all I need to handle whatever is happening–it is a space of freedom and abundance, where I can trust that what is needed will avail itself to me, and things will be brought to wholeness. It is a space of win-win, many times over. And yes, as you say so well, this is indeed a practice!
I am happy to see you blogging here. Keep it up!
In gratitude,
Dawnelle
August 15th, 2009
Ray,
Great post! Thank you for the reminder that every new moment is an opportunity to be rigorous about practicing being present while looking for the possibilities that those moments. I recently wrote a piece myself about roadblocks ( http://inlifeawareness.com/?p=155 )and what we choose in the moment when they arise. Over time and with practice, I notice that I am less and less frequently at the effect of the moment and more and more in creation and possibility of the moment.
Cathy
August 16th, 2009
Hey Ray,
Your words of wisdom always come at a great time. You inspire me!!!
This last year has what 12 step programs call, lots of f******** growth experiences!! Johnny, my little boy was wounded in Iraq. He has an incredible attitude and has surrounded himself with strong women – Mom, sister and girlfriend. He will just get better. He can walk and ride a bike and will one day run again. I am so glad that he took the Basic with you and he uses your wisdom as he moves forward after this wonderful f******* opportunity. Maybe, I will write a little story about how he has inspired me to live life to the fullest.
Love,
Nikki
August 16th, 2009
Eternally gratefull for YOU. I love you! G
August 16th, 2009
Ray,
Today is my birthday and this has been the best gift yet! Thank you for helping me ground and for being such an excellent example of extraordinary!
I love you, my friend!
In peace and gratitude,
Nan
August 16th, 2009
Ray, you taught my Basic at the Legacy Center. You were fantastic and obviously still are. This is excellent stuff. Bill Porter
September 7th, 2009
You are truely a master> thank you for continuing to be the light. Love you, Andres
November 7th, 2009
Ray,
You are the best! Thank you for your commitment and contibution.
Matt